1. I am apparently allergic to mango, my absolute favorite fruit. I am not particularly observant, but it dawned on me Wednesday morning that my lips were swollen and puffy and itchy as hell, as is always the case the day after I eat mango. In honor of this tragedy, I have made the image below with the help of MS Paint, a la first year of college.
It hurts me, it really does. I don’t know if I can go on.
2. Last night I dreamed I had a baby. In the dream I was all, “This is just like everyone says! You really can’t imagine you could love something so much!” blah blah blah. It was actually a pretty nice dream. But then, when I looked down at the baby, I was holding a paper plate with a cheeseburger on it. I lifted off the bun and the pickles and started wiping off the ketchup and mustard. “Who put fixins on my baby? Who?” But there wasn’t a baby anymore – just a hamburger patty.
My takeaway on this is that I am very much not ready to have a baby or to eat a cheeseburger anytime soon.