Dear George Brennan,
I can’t email you directly, since you apparently think my email address is yours. But I would request that you stop signing up for creepy conservative mailing lists that wind up coming to my inbox. I mark them as spam, I do, but they just keep coming. I find the Irish American Association emails interesting, but I’m not going to donate to them. Because they think I’m you.
Dear Carissa Brennan,
You’re an idiot, and I’m not your brother. Stop using emoticons.