It will be hard for some of you

But please, stop drinking diet soda. Or cut down. Or just stop injecting it into your veins after lunch. Because seriously, that shit is gnarly in so many ways. I mean, barf to the skinny “sassy” can.

“In findings involving 2,564 people in the large, multi-ethnic Northern Manhattan Study [potential name for a band where everyone just plays the kazoo: Multi Ethnic Northern Manhattan Study]…scientists said people who drank diet soda every day had a 61 percent higher risk of vascular events than those who reported no soda drinking….By ‘vascular events,’ the study authors mean to say ‘strokes.’”

I’m just going to throw this out there: I could come up with a much more upbeat definition for “vascular events”.
What’s causing these “vascular events”? It looks like the artificial sweetener aspartame. Because “Under Monsanto’s ownership, aspartame conquered the diet soft-drink market.”
Monsanto = generally up to no good, as you may well know. When you Google “Monsanto”, this is the results list blurb that shows up: “If there were one word to explain what Monsanto is about, it would have to be farmers.” (From their corporate site, if you hadn’t guessed.)
Wikipedia’s take (yes, I’m citing Wikipedia – eat me): “Monsanto’s development and marketing of genetically engineered seed and bovine growth hormone, as well as its aggressive litigation, political lobbying practices, seed commercialization practices, and ‘strong-arming’ of the seed industry, have made the company controversial around the world…As a result of its business strategies and licensing agreements, Monsanto came under investigation by the U.S. Justice Department in 2009.”
If you do a mashup of these two results, you get…very confused. My brain doesn’t deal well with ambiguity, so I chose to put an MS Paint X over the Pepsi can above. You’re welcome.
In the spirit of scientific discovery, has anyone run across any reliable studies on the benefit of Monsanto’s GMOs vs. the harm they’re doing? I have my own gut feelings, but would be interested in seeing data. Because right now it seems like you’d be better of drinking hippie draino (called Drain-bow, for those that don’t live in the Bay Area) than a few gallons of diet soda.

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