My girlfriend Emma Thompson

I want to be friends with Emma Thompson. Meryl Streep’s introduction of her at some awards ceremony earlier in the month got quite a bit of attention because she called her “a rabid, man-eating feminist, like I am”. Which is cute enough, but it’s Emma Thompson’s acceptance speech that is really worth reading

First, a kickoff that cracked me up:

Bloody hell, Meryl. What greater love hath no woman, really, that she should don a frock and heels for her friend, write a poem. My god, I’m nauseous with gratitude! It may, in fact, be guilt, because I know I did ask. I’m so sorry. Thank you so much.”

Then, hilarious commentary on her PL Travers haircut:

I can’t think what gave me the edge; it must have been the perm. Which was a great sacrifice; it meant no sex, of course, for months on end. And then only with animal noises accompanying it.”

More hilarity, on Tom Hanks:

I’d like to thank Kelly Marcel for writing someone so relentlessly unpleasant. Actually, it was an artistic chance to let out my real and true inner self. It was such bliss torturing all those young men, and I include Hanks, obviously, in that category. He’s always looked like he needed a good smack.”

A dig at high heels:

I’ve taken my heels off as a feminist statement really, because why do we wear them? They’re so painful. And pointless, really. You know, I really would like to urge everyone to stop it. Just stop it. Don’t wear them anymore. You just can’t walk in them, and I’m so comfortable now.”

And that’s actually most of it. But you should read it all anyway. She’s my new #1 favorite.

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